The week opened with a bitter wind that would not let up. The howling kept me up at night as I heard the rafters creeking. The howling woke up me by the dawn's early light and kept up from here to the cafe and back again. The wind blew what little snow there was at a barreling sideways trajectory and, by Tuesday night, I was not at my best. The grating of the howling hurt me.
But Wednesday awoke to breezey and, having slept the night before, I made peace with the elements and thanked God for the day.
Rewind to last week.
In a moment of bravery and foward motion, I booked a couple of career coaching sessions with a highly-esteemed artist who I already knew to be an excellent teacher. Last week, after feeling helpless and lost, I thought, "Make a move to show you're lost, but you're trying. You're confused, but you're willing to get some help to figure out how to move forward." So I did.
Because this is what I know about myself: 1. Accountability is really important to my following through trends. 2. I don't like letting people down so if someone asks me to do something (like homework assignments), I will definitely do it. It stems from my years of people pleasing. 3. A financial investment for professional development takes it out of the "hobby/when you get a minute" category and places it squarely into "this is my job and I wish to improve" category.
So I met with my mentor, I started working on the assignments I was given. And I'm so thankful that I saw the Facebook post, clicked on the contact button and booked the appointments.
Why? Because (and you know this, but I'm just reminding you) a third party objective view helps us see the things we can't see. Because, if we want to move forward, then we need to reach up to someone who has already been there and learn from them. Because, in the midst of trying to do it all, we get scattered and disjointed and it's hard to figure out where to put our energy. A third party can walk into your living room and see the possibilities behind the clutter and maybe even get you to knock down the half wall (some of you know the wall of which I speak).
I've repeatedly lamented to my songwriter friends that I need help, but was unsure where to find it. Yesterday, after our coaching session, I realized I'd found it. Or it found me. A combination of both and I can't tell you how empowering it felt to not feel so muddled, like peppermint at the bottom of a mojito. You do not have to be mashed up at the bottom of glass either. You can be the orange slice hanging off the side, you can be the umbrella, whatever. THis image is falling apart. But you don't have to. That's the point.
Tomorrow I drive to Wisconsin to sing songs with Katie Dahl and Emily White. I get to do what I love with my friends. I get to drive all day.
This is a picture of us, with Pino and Anke, on a bike trip in the South of France 15 years and 4 months ago. About a week or so later I would get back to Germany, go to my first OB appt. and find out I was 20 weeks pregnant with our first son. It's crazy when, at your first appt., they take you back to look at the ultrasound and see your baby. Crazy. But true.
Also, my son turned 15 this week, I'm thinking about doing the Keto Diet, I started using eye cream at night and my world turned around, and there's a skate party tonight and I don't know if I have the gut anymore to put on roller skates. Have a good one.
Be brave.