How will you know you came up with a new soundtrack that can help break down blocks and barricades you’ve built in your mind?
The words feel true, possible and powerful. The words are kind, generative and have you dipping your toes into the waters of creative solutions, fun, and curiosity. Otherwise, a sentence that sounds kickass will just sit there ineffectively judging you saying, “You’ve been saying ‘I’m a warlord who takes no prisoners on my campaign to take over everything’ for weeks now and I still have to wait in line at the grocery store. THis is bullshit.”
The sentence is meant to have intrinsic value only to you. It’s like having a secret handshake with your deeper knowing in a way only you will understand. It means penning your story one thought at a time in order to walk into the story you’ve been imagining. Don’t use my soundtracks if they land like lead balloons. This endeavor is to leave the land of Lead and enter the Land of Levity. More fun, less self-imposed ass-kicking.
IN other news I got up on stage last night for a local festival and it was so wonderful. I had such a great time. I was nervous before the gig because I’m somewhat out of practice in front of live audiences. I was worried how I’d do it. I was worried about what they would think of me. I wasn’t sure about the show shirt I had picked out. And then I remembered something I said to one of my clients who recently shared the same insecurities about a convention where she was scheduled to present. I told her, “Your job is to honor your work and present it in the best way possible. Think about all the hours and time you’ve put into this work. It is amazing, valueable and deserves your best attention. When you get up there, have a deep relationship with IT and then let the audience do with it what it will. Your first job is to the love and care of this project. How people receive it is not your job.”
And there I was in the green room all like, “Dude. Maybe take your own advice for once.” And I thought of those songs on the setlist and how much I love them. I thought of how much of myself and my story lives inside them and how I owe it to that work to get up on that stage and love it into being again after not singing them into microphones for all those months. Me and my songs. That bond is not shaken just because I’m worried I chose the wrong ones for a Friday night festival crowd. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t navel gazing. What I was doing was walking away from the urge to explain away the worth of my work. I tend to cheapen it so that I don’t get hurt when people don’t like it. Not last night, boy. Last night I just loved it and had fun sharing it and I think we all had fun together- me, the songs and the audience. It was awesome.
That’s a great example of “getting out of my own way.” Some people hate that phrase, but I find help in it. My ego self can really fudge stuff up for me. When I get out of my own way, I think I’m just going to live outside the realm of appearance, perfectionism, expectation and live, instead, in my own identity. It’s actually way more fun. It’s actually way more effective. It actually lets me breathe, tell dumb jokes on stage and karate chop the hell out of a 90 minute set. High five.