It’s been more than three months since I’ve written here but don’t think I haven’t missed you. I have.
So what was so important that you couldn’t clock in and tell us your innermost thoughts, Dunbar?
Pretty much nothing.
I returned from Europe and experienced a post-European slump. Cinderella may have only needed the clocktower bell to strike 12 times before carriages resumed to pumpkins, but I needed like three weeks. So I’m not a good candidate for fairytale princess but I digress…
I returned to my regularly scheduled schedule. I did the Ladies Fall Tea, I walked, I watched the leaves change from red to brown to gone, I watched the rainfall, I went to Lambertville, The Halloween Town, and stood in awe of how they do it up SO BIG. I cannot stress enough how big up they do Halloween. It’s nutso. And then Asbury Park and our PBnJ bars, then Thanksgiving and then Christmas time and now 2024.
Thank God for one more year.
The word I chose for the ending of 2023 was ‘crescendo.’ I came up with it one night together with my amazing friends over expensive cocktails at a bar in DUMBO riffing on the back half of our year. I suddenly realized I did indeed have more to give. I realized the intensity of RIGHT NOW is a proper reason to go big, risk more, believe more, yes and MORE.
And don’t get me wrong. This craving for more isn’t to stuff my coffers or outdo my neighbor. You should know me well enough by now to know my more is mostly invisible and in my heart and soul. My more is one of freedom and the fearlessness of a rock n roll show where I’m unleashed and slighly unhinged and that’s a good thing. A more measured person might call it flow, a liberated version would say past the point of ego and delving into the humanity of our flesh and bone having left self-doubt behind. That’s my idea of more. It’s mostly between me and me and aren’t most of the biggest shifts we encounter in our lives, at the end of the day between us and us with God as our witness?
If I should take “crescendo” into 2024, you won’t see it on my tshirt or have to hear about it over dinner. It’ll be that silent conversation I have with myself when I’m alone saying, “Why not make the ask? Why not try your hand? Why stop here when it’s clear you can see past the breakers?” And when I’m alone, I’ll make myself answer and confess that I’m frightened and let the words land on paper and wait for my reply. And my response will start softly and then get a bit louder until the truth is revealed that fear will not stand a chance. It won’t stand a chance when I start in like I want to, like a warrior in battle unafraid of the fight. When I get loud I get honest, and when I’m honest I get untethered, and more powerful and more daring thanks to crescendo once again.
Also I wish you very well. Thank you for reading. Thanks for sticking with me. I have added shows to my calendar. I want this to be a great year for all of us and I believe it can be. The God of heaven and earth has done everything for us so we’ve got the space to get in there and go for broke. High five.