I had a dream last night where I was talking with someone on the phone telling them I needed help with my songs and the person on the other end apologized, but said there was nothing to be done. In my dream I was crying because I was looking for something I could not find.
THis is a very true to life scenario that I experienced while dreaming.
Perhaps I have told you that the feedback I get over and over is that my songwriting is real close, but not close enough. This feedback does not hurt my feelings, but it does make me crazy because I can't figure out how to get my work to A+ status. I don't know how to work any harder or look any closer. I don't know how to find what I can't see is missing. How do you do that?That's why I was crying in my dream. I was crying because perhaps the truth is that my own brain won't be able to write material that gets an A+ and that I just need to find that person who's willing to help me.
The other half of my life is working, laundry, boys and school stuff. It can be an odd pairing with songwriter brain, but I'm thankful for it. It was my boy who helped me find a prompt for a song I wrote real quick on Friday night. And you know what? I didn't worry about that Friday night song. I didn't stress about the holes or the problems. I just had fun making something up and singing it and you know what? I think it's keeper and I did it all by myself. That feels pretty good. I think I might try that again on the days my songwriter brain turns songwriting into a bummer.