Steven Pressfield’s book, “The War of Art” is just a real little gem, isn’t it? So simple, so profound and something I go back to again and again on this road of creativity and living.
How do you know you’ve turned Pro according to Steven Pressfield? When the desire to do the work and get the work out there outweighs the vulnerability you will risk in putting the work, and yourself, out there. The decision that declares, “I am willing to experience one million nos and negative responses because I believe in this work I am doing.” And ka-blamo. You’re a pro.
Truth: you are not everyone’s cup of tea. Truth: Not everyone is your cup of tea.
Isn’t that so refreshing? Isn’t that so helpful, especially to us recovering people pleasers? The point is not to get everyone to like you and like what you do- it’d be cool if they did, but that’s not how humans work. The point is to connect your deal with a group of people who just love your deal so much that it’s an ever-flowing inspiration fountain between you and your audience, between your audience and you.
The Season of No can eclipse all that fun inspiring stuff and lead you straight into the magical land of “Fuck it.” Fuck. this. (sorry, not sorry).
Upon the road. to connecting with your people and finding your bliss, the passing through No’sville is inevitable. I feel like I’m there. In my personal life, in my professional life, in my civic life. I seem to be bumping into “no” in many and various ways. Not the right time, let’s wait and see, a pushing off of a meeting, 15 phone calls and messages yesterday all with no responses. The train schedule not running as I thought, the ferry boat (no joke, for reals a ferry I need) not running in October. It’s placing me squarely in the “pro” realm saying, “Linda, listen. This serious pursuit of living is not for egos that need constant petting. It’s for warriors. Now are you a champion of your own life or do want to go back to the baby pool, Linda?”
First, my name’s not Linda. Second, sometimes I’ll say to Jon, “Linda, listen” and his eyeroll and annoyance is hilarious (for me). Third, there’s so much to glean from No’sville.
The Season of No is making me really clear on what I want. Some of those Nos were blessings. Turns out, one plan doesn’t feel right even though I thought it was right. That NO was doing me favor. Another No wasn’t so much a No as it was a change in the timeline. What I thought should happen in 6 months may need a year instead. That’s a good thing. Then the 15 Nos yesterday started a fire and the fire just got bigger and bigger with every door closing (cue Ani’s “Fire Door”). Those were actually the best Nos. They made my vision clearer around something I think is super important. They didn’t have me losing steam, they had me gaining in commitment and intensity. Those Nos had me putting on my lab coat and playing the scientist to look for information I had missed, examine the landscape, and keep trying.
You know what feels amazing? Doing something that feels important, challenging, and forward-focused. Going Pro isn’t so much about gettting fame, fortune and love from strangers. It’s about investing your heart and soul into something big that has you engaging with the Yes and The No alike so that you’re unafraid of the arena. It’s warrior energy that never sees the deep end of a baby pool again because we’ve got some serious work to get done. Just tell Brene to call me.
Have a great day.