My greatest challenge? Really, Dunbar? Are you sure those are the words you’re going with RE: losing three pounds in ten days?
I’ve been lost in foreign lands, I’ve birthed babies, I’ve lost song contests, I’ve learned languages, chaperoned high school service projects, and this? This is where you want the flag staked?
Eff yes. Eff. Yes.
Why? I walked around all day yesterday asking myself how do I get this goal in a way that isn’t mean, endurance-based or quit-enducing? Oh dear reader. You’d think I had never done any hard things before. You’d think I had just returned to the land of the living after years in a coma like I had no skills, no knowledge, no tool box or tools. Oh dear reader. I am not a fan of that mindset. Pro tip: When you start searching around for advice and help from your friends and it’s not about some new age flex capacitator and hard math you’re developing and, instead, it’s about losing three pounds? YOU’RE STALLING FOR TIME AND AVOIDING WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, DUDES.
Lands, languages, babies, eleven hour car rides to NYC will a bunch of teenagers, losing song contests- they’ll all teach you the same thing in the end: you are the one who has to do it and you are the one who has to get super effing clear about what you’re doing. In the words of Chubbs Peterson to Happy Gimore, “You’re gonna give that shit up. You’re gonna concentrate on golf.” All day yesterday I was avoiding the thing I knew. Me. I had to get out some trash bags, throw some bullshit thinking away and get to work.
Time’s run out on bullshit, my friends. And that. THAT is the great white whale. The moment time’s up on bullshit is the moment the real heavy lifting of commitment and focus begins. No more “will she/won’t she” garbage where everyone’s wondering (her included) if the happy (gilmore) ending will pan out. Now? Now it’s time for making the ending inevitable. Taking the whale very seriously and doing so unapologetically. In my training as a girl and then later, a woman, apologizing is SUPER important. It’s like every other lesson. But not today. No more ‘I love yous,’ Annie Lennox and no more "‘I’m sorrys.’
Not today, Satan (of socialization). Today, three pounds has entered into ‘greatest challenge’ status. Every moment from here til August 1st is a member of my team and every moment is pointing toward the inevitable outcome labeled victory. In fact, after this post I’m driving to Philaedelphia, buying all grey sweats, running up some steps and punching sides of meat just in case the world needs more evidence of my determination.
And, just to be clear about the concept of commitment and mental toughness in my mind and your’s, toughness does not mean without struggle or without weakness. It doesn’t imply a willful denial of human brokenness. In fact, it works best when all the data is available to us- both the strengths and weaknesses. Commitment does not look like what we think it looks like- the hero transcending and rising above the messiness of humanity and embracing other-worldly superiority. No. Commitment is a willingness to show up in strength and look at all the weakness and say, “And I’m doing it anyway and it’s OK for these raggle taggle misfit toys to come along for the ride.” So every minute is for my whale. I’m gonna get a cute whale tattoo on my wrist to remind me (no I’m not). I’m gonna tell you the uninteresting and yet life changing story about me and my high school English teacher because, like it or not, he’s in the story I carry around about my freedom to exist and be seen and have nice things.
Buckle up, fear the deer (I just heard that yesterday re; NBA sport team from Milwaukee), taste the rainbow, Mentos fresh and full of life, like the sands in the hourglass, we’re doing this. High five.