The van we ordered is bigger than this one.
First, my recent trip to Germany was wonderful. Reuniting with lifelong friends, feeling so at home in a place so far away and then getting the joy of playing a couple shows for my friends while I was there? Amazing. It’s a real blessing to fly across an ocean and be greeted by such comfort and love, such peace and familiarity that the streets lead to the same places as always, the paths in the woods are right where you left them, the table in the garden has a seat with your name on it and the gathering of people contain so many familiar faces from the past 20 years that it feels like a homecoming. What a gift.
Second. “Snowflake Mountain” on Netflix? (I call it ‘Snowflake Island’) Am I watching enough reality television? Clearly not cuz this little gem scrolled through my transum and I was like, “this feels right.” And it is. And it’s ridiculous and the British kids on it are so funny and, from my point of view, an extended stay at a lakeside campground looks like absolute heaven. They are busy putting on makeup in their tents and not doing the dishes and I would be all KP duty and firewood and fetching water all day long. They never have laundry hanging out. IS the production team washing their clothes? All the girls still have their hair done all the time. Are they taking long hot showers somehow? So many questions.
25 days in Nebraska and the reality of our upcoming move comes in and out of focus depending on the hour. The basement is getting finished little by little (trim goes up today!), the kids leave for Houston on Friday, the movers are scheduled, the van is in the shop, the red car is next for fixing, the house has a buyer and it’s me in this kitchen like I always am at 6am in the quiet house after all these years.
Yesterday I threw out on Facebook the getting rid of things. It’s time. I really do see the wisdom in making room for something new. One must part with what has become old first. So goodbye couch and club chair, goodbye mid century modern wall art, huge tub of Legos, young reader fiction and whatever else I can send off onto its next journey via social media post. If we’re going, those things should get a chance at something new also.
25 days and just shy of 12 years. In this town, on this corner, at this kitchen table. 25 days left of swimming pool here, church here, school here, post office, bank, grocery, gas station and driving to Seward and York and Lincoln and Hastings. 25 days to tank, swim, walk the dirt road under this big Nebraska sky, drink a drink in my festival chair in my backyard with Jon on a Friday after 5pm facing westward. 25 days to say thank you, cry tears, lay to rest, say goodbye and head east. It’s a practice in sitting squarely in reality, making the move on purpose, getting clear on intention and excited for what’s next. I am excited for what’s next. It will come with discomfort, but it’ll be the good kind that fosters change. It will come with frustration, but the kind that comes from newness and not knowing what’s next. It will come with miles and miles and making mistakes and that’s exactly how it should be. It will come with togetherness and trust, with anticipation and angst, with all the things we know come with what’s next and what’s new and I think 25 days is just the right amount of days to shepherd it up the mountain. Peace.